Demanding While Undeserving

It's easier to demand what you don't have

than it is to accept you are undeserving
of the blessings lavished upon you.

There are many things I don't have that I would like to demand.
I want to demand things on behalf of my children.
I don't have enough room to list the assorted demands
I'd like to place upon my spouse. *blush*

Hey, I'm even smart enough to know that I shouldn't make selfish demands. While others might demand leisure, ease and prosperity, I would go for things I see as needs -- items which are good by anyone's measure. I might even demand we all give peace a chance.

The thing is, while I'm making those demands and seeing them go unmet, I'm robbing myself of something precious. I'm like the little child that walks past all of the toys in my room and proclaims I haven't anything to play with, or the growing boy that stares at a kitchen full of food and states that there isn't anything to eat, or the teenaged girl with a closet full of clothes that declares she hasn't anything to wear.

As a young woman, I would hear all of the things that I should have without asking or demanding and I would become angry. Focused on these unmet needs/rights/necessities/etc. I would demand them from the people/places/things that had already neglected these things. Predictably, I would be disappointed. While I was busy demanding and running off to fix things with my own talents/abilities/strength, I had forgotten to do an inventory of the things I already had.

I was so busy jousting at windmills that weren't interested in my crusade that I was not willing to admit I had been blessed, and greatly so. In fact, I had received an abundance that I could not have secured on my own behalf or known to ask for if given the opportunity. There were those who crossed my path that I could have blessed with my abundance. But I took the coward's way.

It is easier to make angry demands, to fearfully clutch at that which is just beyond our grasp. We are afraid that if we don't do this, we won't get the biggest slice, the choice selection, the best place in line. To be content is to run the risk that we will be overlooked . . . by whom? It is so much more difficult to hold ourselves accountable for our blessings -- to realize that Someone hasn't overlooked what is most important and that someone else would be grateful to share them.

Am I lonely? Someone out there needs a friend. Find them.
Am I bored? I have talents that need to be put to use.
Are my days empty? Someone is overwhelmed and needs a hand.
Has my world come crashing down? Give the person next to you a hand.
They're hurting too and in need of a little hope.
Am I weak? It's time to discover a different kind of strength.
If I'm weeping, I should share the tissues.

The difference between demands and gratitude can make ALL the difference.
Rather than picking through the rubble of our lives and trying to make sense of it all, it's time to check on our neighbor and help them get to higher ground. Just as we received what we needed today, we will receive what we need tomorrow from the same wise One that took care of us yesterday. Wherever we are, in the midst of pain or grief, we have still been blessed. Grieve, mourn and do an inventory.

A wise person once told me not to let the holidays just happen to me. I was to be alone that year. The lonely holidays would be a reminder of all that had gone terribly wrong leading up to that point. There wasn't money to make a special meal, send cards or buy the trappings that accompany the celebration. Days stretched before me in which I could easily have drowned in despair as I reflected on it all. Instead, I found a place to volunteer to serve meals. All day, I offered smiles and helped people find seats. I offered them the things that I knew I needed.

Then, one woman changed my perspective. She was there with her three small children all under the age of 5 or so. I helped her juggle plates and little hands and got them all settled. She looked at me and told me how that her husband had left her alone with the children and she had just been diagnosed with cancer. All day, I had been thinking that these people were more fortunate than me. At that point, I grew up a little and realized that I wasn't the only person struggling, that my difficulties weren't even the worst in the world. I realized that I didn't have a patent on suffering. Bad things happen. People hurt. We can ease one another's burden with what little we have: time, a smile, a touch, a look, a word.

Hold your blessings with an open hand. You can see them better that way -- and you can more easily share them.