Monarchy Versus Husbandry

When deciding on a husband, I am finding that one of the MOST important things to do is to discover what his real thoughts are about the husband and wife relationship. How does he think the ideal couple relates to each other? How would he most like to relate to his wife and children?

Of course, a woman may not be the one to get this information out of a young interested man. He will only be trying to find the words to impress her. For him, words are the tool used to acquire the desired prize (the woman). He's not about to reveal any truth that he imagines would impede his progress. So, this knowledge will come from some keen observation and investigation -- not so much from long, intimate conversation.

Why is this so important?

Because there is a fallacy that is being promoted that the ideal husband functions as a king or monarch in his home. Anyone taking the time to read the Bible will learn the history of how monarchies were first formed. It was a heathen practice by groups that worshiped idols. When the newly formed nation of Israel first asked God to give them a king, God called them an adulterous people. He had invested the time and effort to teach them how to function as a united people. He had led them, provided for their needs and protected them. Now, they wanted to be like everyone else. They'd rather have a king than be faced with the intensity of a close relationship to Him, a theocracy.

Rightly so, God was offended. [Thomas Paine's booklet COMMON SENSE does a nice Bible study on the topic.]

God calls the man who has a wife a husband. Again, a brief reading of Scripture will reveal that the word husband is not used interchangeably with the word king. While Christ is called the King of kings. Husbands are not. Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave His very life for it. In relationship to the Church, Christ is called a husband and the Church is his bride.

A husbandman is one that works hard to make things grow. He is not a slave to his own ego. He is not addicted to entertainments and distractions. He is one that relishes the opportunity to prove himself a good steward of that which has been entrusted. He rejoices to see new growth and encourages it. He works towards harvest time and brings in the return from the fields. He stores the increase and the overflow blesses those who are near him. He NEEDS a help meet to join him in the task and he relishes the good that comes when two hearts come together as one to make something MORE.

In a nutshell, that's what a husbandman is. He embarks on a journey that cultivates the wife and children entrusted to him into something more than any of them could have become alone. He does not selfishly take from others, he plants good seed for harvest time. He does not carelessly spend, he invests. He does not remain idle, because he sees that the seasons are passing. He considers the future and prepares himself and his household. He is a husband man.

A monarch, on the other hand, is insulated from the effects of his decisions. He passes down edicts that restrict his subjects, not himself. He receives information from fawning advisers that often have their own agendas and attempt to move and sway the king to their own advantage. He separates people from their possessions and fills his coffers with that which he has conquered and taken. He leads people into battle and orders the lives of individuals he does not know. His power and position is achieved by vanquishing his enemies and political intrigue. He is a prisoner of his own office and must secure his position by eliminating those who appear smarter or stronger than he. His people are required by law to honor him, but he cannot force them to love him. He is a figurehead, not an intimate. He is alone.

Children's cartoons sing the praises of growing up to be king. Very few people take the time to remind their sons what it means to be a husband. Grown men are going around defending their their 'honor,' trying to establish miniature monarchies. Too few are embracing husbandry. Families are suffering as a result. What every family needs is a husband. Too few husbands are accepting that role, choosing instead to punish members of the household that do not support the monarchy.

Do you answer a question honestly when asked? A husbandman is glad for the information because it gives him insight and feedback necessary to plan how to adjust and move forward. A monarch will be offended that you deign to say anything other than that which flatters his false image of himself. If you tell a monarch the truth, you risk punishment. If you tell a husbandman the truth, he will use the information to bring about a better end.

This carries over into other areas. Having a problem with the kids? A husbandman will want to know so that your efforts will be joined and the harvest not lost. A monarch will demand that you go away and not bother him with such trivia.

Are you lonely? A husbandman will take you with him into the fields where you will work together and talk and commune. A monarch will be offended that you expect him to be concerned with your needs when you should be serving him.

It goes on. In some circles it's gotten so perverse that believers tell women and children that they are under the authority of any man that decides to boss them around. No longer are we the bride of Christ, but we are now part of some religious hierarchy filled with little tyrants and fiefdoms. Little kings rule over their households and answer to bigger religious kings that tell them how to do everything from spend their money to how to run the show in the bedroom.

The high calling of husbandman has been set aside for the pomp and circumstance of kings with no clothes. In their clamoring to be first, they have made themselves last and taken their families with them.

Look at what a man is most proud of in his life. Has he been able to touch lives in a way that make them more than they were before they met him? Has the increase been in genuine accomplishments and investments of time an talent that showed a return, or has he accumulated power and awards at others' expense? Is he a husbandman to those around him or is he a monarch? Choose carefully when you select a husband.

Consider the different roles and response of a husbandman versus a monarch. Visit an estate, farm or plantation. If the place full of failing plants and sickly animals and you are charged with investigating why the conditions are so bad, you would find the person in charge and ask him what had happened. If you have stumbled upon a monarch, he will first be offended that you have noticed a flaw and then that you assumed it was his responsibility. He will bluster and say whatever is required to make you leave his presence. Often, you will find him running over a tattered list of excuses that includes blaming the plants and animals for being of inferior stock. He will never be convinced that the results have anything to do with his efforts.

If you have found the husbandman, you will likely see him in the middle of an urgent effort to discover the cause himself and/or solve the problem. He will have already contacted any advisers and be in the process of implementing any remedies available to him. Your concern will cause him to want to enlist your help before all that is precious to him is lost. THAT is a husbandman. He is INVESTED in his family and will not rest in his efforts to provide and protect.

Find yourself one of those, ladies. If you can, watch the entire documentary named A MAN NAMED PEARL. This man took the discarded plants from a neighborhood nursery and turned his property into a botanical showplace. A monarch could never have done what this willing caring man accomplished.